AHONUI

ALOHA FOCUS FOR THE WEEK: AHONUI

Patience; patient, enduring, long suffering; to tolerate. (Pukui-Elbert)

Aho, patient, and nui, much. To be patient, gentle, kind, (Andrews)

Patient; enduring; long suffering. Forbearance (Parker)

When I was a child, Christmas could not come soon enough. Back then, way before the Amazon and the internet, even before home computers, my parents allowed my sisters and I to make a wish list from the Sears catalog – a densely packed book featuring of all of the goods they sold for the holiday season. Our favorite section was of course the toys. We circled the dozens of things we wanted and folded down the corners of the pages. We knew we’d be lucky if we got one or two items, but had no clue which.

As Christmas neared and presents laid out beneath the tree, we shook the boxes trying to get a sense of what was inside. Was the box big enough to house that GI Joe with the kung fu grip? Did I hear pieces of lego that might be pieces of a space ship? As curious as we were, we waited with patience until Christmas morning came. 

Far from long suffering, this type of patience is probably not Ahonui. Especially as an adult, I now know better what true patience feels like. From teaching a child drive on the freeway to having to care for an aging parent who needs round-the-clock care and  sense of decorum has evaporated along with their memory, true patience is tested when the conditions are difficult and at times intolerable. True patience is also when you continue to be gentle and kind. It requires forbearance, which originally meant the ability to control one’s feelings. This is Ahonui.

Aunty Pilahi Paki and Pono Shim said that to show Ahonui, we must control our feelings and recognize how to act properly when the right moment comes. Sometimes that means walking away when we are angered so that we may return with renewed patience and something strong yet gentle to say. 

As we honor Black History Month, there are numerous examples of people who suffered horribly and shown great patience to persevere through tremendous injustice and hardship – many who continue to bear suffering today. Even the basic right to vote continues to be under attack today. Did you know that black men were first given the right to vote in 1870 with the passage of the 15th Amendment and all women were granted the right to vote 1920. However, from inane literacy tests to egregious poll taxes, states found creative ways to bar black citizens (and other minorities) from voting. Leaders such as Frederick Douglas, Fannie Lou Hamer, Mary McLeod Bethune and Martin Luther King Jr endured the discrimination levied against them. And instead of violence, they pushed forward peacefully and determinedly to eventually gain protections guaranteeing all the right to vote. 

To be Ahonui

• Be aware of yourself and how you are feeling
• Ask yourself, if I say/do something now, will it be received well? Will it help?
• If not, how might I say it? When might be the right time?

5 PURSUITS of AHONUI:

Inspired by Gholdy Muhammad

Please watch this: Lilian’s Right To Vote: A Celebration of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 by Jonah Winter, illustrated by Shane W. Evans. Then with you child, answer the following:

IDENTITY: Ask a kupuna to share a story in which they had to show great patience and perseverance?

SKILLS: What type of story is this? Use examples from the text as evidence to support your claim.

INTELLECT: Create a timeline of events as retold in the book that show the progress made in protecting the right to vote for Black Americans and other minorities.

CRITICALITY: How was Ahonui demonstrated by the characters of this book?

JOY: Why is voting so important to the main character, Lilian?