Monthly Archives: November 2024

AKAHAI AND THE SALVE OF GRATITUDE

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I laila hoʻi no koʻu puʻuwai.
Ua maluhia hoʻi au i keʻāpona mai.
A i koʻu mau ala hele loa,
ʻOia mau nō ke akahai pū me iaʻu.

It is there that my heart belongs.
I am safe in the warmth of that embrace.
No matter where I may roam,
I carry that gentleness with me.

 P. Anderson-Fung and K. Maly

ALOHA FOCUS FOR THE WEEK: AKAHAI

There’s a switchback on the trail leading to the top of Waihī Nui (Mānoa Falls) that fills me with peace. It’s not a typical stopping point on the trail and unlike the bench a several football fields before it, there’s not an expansive, awe-inspiring vista overlooking Mānoa valley. Instead, the spot is tucked beneath the shade of hao trees. Cool breezes rustle the leaves of the trees below and uplift the bird songs emanating from canopy. And because it was the past the more scenic points, few people passed by, allowing me to be undisturbed.

I used to visit that spot every Saturday morning during a more tumultuous period of my life. There, I could empty my head as I tried to isolate the sounds of the different birds I heard singing. There I could drown out the voices of doubt and frustration that weighed upon my heart. Above the cell towers, the notifications of my phone were muted and I felt entirely free.

After attaining a calm state, I allowed my mind to slowly return to work and my home. Starting with those for whom I felt grateful – the people who brought me joy, showed me care and compassion. Bathing in gratitude, I felt fortified to think about my week ahead and the challenges I’d be facing. Refreshed and renewed, I walked back to my car and the daily challenges. 

It has been a few years since I last visited this spot and I’ve been wanting to return. Not that I feel anything close to the turmoil I once endured, I feel that practicing this sort of akahai is like exercise or eating healthy – it’s a discipline I must continually engage in to maintain strength. As I get older, I am finding that staying fit (physically, mentally, and spiritually) is a must. Undoubtedly, challenges will continue to arise and test our resolve. Consequently, before I find myself once again mired in despair, I will visit that spot and immerse myself in gratitude for the people around me who continually show aloha.

5 PURSUITS of AKAHAI:

Inspired by Gholdy Muhammad

Please watch this: We are Grateful: Otsaliheliga written by Traci Sorell and illustrated by Frané Lessac. Then with you child, answer the following:

  • IDENTITY: Discuss with your kupuna about how your ʻohana and people of your culture show gratitude.
  • SKILLS: How does the author talk about ways the Cherokee people preserve their way of life?
  • INTELLECT: Where are the Cherokee people originally from and where are they now? What caused them to be relocated and why they believe it is important to remember this difficult time period and what their ancestors endured.
  • CRITICALITY: Why do the Cherokee people remind themselves to celebrate blessings and reflect on struggles and hard times throughout each season?
  • JOY: Watch this Drum Along version of the book and find something you can safely use as a drum to drum along to the story.

MAHALO NUI LOA – COMPREHENSIVE NEEDS ASSESSMENT

On Friday, November 22, we conducted a Comprehensive Needs Assessment that delved into our school data. From this, we identified the strengths, challenges and  implications for our school’s Academic and Financial Plan. Mahalo nui loa for the staff, students, parents (Chelsea Pang, Shelly May Tokunaga), and community member (Derek Esibill from Waikalua Loko Iʻa) who spent the entire day, expending a wealth of mental energy to analyze our data and help our school move forward. 

CONTINUED PRACTICES:

NOʻAHUNA OF ALOHA

See Uncle Pono Shim explain the Noʻahuna, the esoteric meaning, of Aloha as taught to him by Aunty Pilahi, the Keeper of Secrets.

WEAR KĀNEʻOHE SHIRT WEDNESDAYS

Help us build unity and show our lōkahi by wearing a shirt that celebrates Kāneʻohe on Wednesdays. Wear any previous Fun Run or grade level shirt.

DAILY VIRTUAL PIKO

At the Daily Piko, we share thoughts on the Aloha value for the week which helps us become centered and ready to learn. We begin at 8 AM everyday except Wednesdays.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Nov 27KES SCC Mtg4:30 – 5:30 PMOnline @Zoom
Nov 28Thanksgiving HolidayLā Kūʻokoʻa – Hawaiian Independence Day
Nov 29No School; Office Closed
Dec 6KES Ohana Christmas Card Class5:30 – 7 PM
Dec 7Kāneʻohe Christmas Parade9 – 11 AM

AHONUI AND IMPUSIVITY

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s., Aho, patient, and nui, much. Forbearance; long suffering; patience.

Andrews, Hawaiian Dictionary, 1865

ALOHA FOCUS FOR THE WEEK: AHONUI

Once, while standing in line at the supermarket, my daughter, who was about two years old, started pointing out how the person standing next to us looked so strange. She commented on how his hair stood up on end and how his skin appeared wrinkled and weathered. My face, flushed with embarrassment, heated up so high, you could fry an egg on my cheeks. I tried to shush her and cover her fingers that stiffly pointed at the person. Finally, I rushed her out of the store, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

After growing out of making mortifying comments directed at people standing within earshot, throughout her childhood and into adolescence, my daughter frequently misbehaved and then lied to cover her tracks. Once in preschool, she broke her arm doing summersaults and then blamed it on a girl who wasn’t even close to where she was playing. In middle school, she had a secret social media account that we only accidentally discovered. And yet, as you might see your own children committing similar behavior, these impulsive acts are a natural part of growing up.

At age four, children begin to exhibit limited control. Throughout their elementary years, their skills at managing impulsivity develop. And then around ten, puberty resets their brains and it’s as if they are starting from scratch. So rather than steady, linear growth, children’s ability to control their impulses looks like a series of waves on the ocean. I remember once, while teaching about puberty to our fifth grade boys, one of the students asked, “Mr. Minakami, why am I so mean to my parents? I don’t want to be, but things just come out of my mouth and I can’t control it.” 

This is inability to control their impulses gets worse when emotions are high – like when they students feel wronged by a classmate. They do not stop to investigate the situation. They do not ask questions or even think about the possible consequences. Instead they act out. Just yesterday, a fourth grader tripped another kid because he thought she had tripped him on purpose in the cafeteria. But when we approached the kid, she did not know what he was talking about and apologized for tripping him on accident. He felt embarrassed for acting so rashly and apologized in return.

Finally, around the age of 25, well past the age they can vote, drink and drive (hopefully not in that order), the area of the brain that helps people be better planners, decision makers, and controller of impulses becomes fully developed. So should we simply wait children out? Ignore their bad behavior until their are 25? According to the Therapist Parent, Krysten Taprell, “With practice and support we can help children to develop these skills, but just like learning to read, it takes time.”

Taprell and others suggest doing a few exercises that can help students strengthen their ability to manage their impulses:

  1. Talk about and label feelings: “When we are in a highly emotional state, your limbic or emotional brain takes over. We can no longer think clearly and logically. Our brain is in survival mode and will do what it needs to, either fight, flight or freeze and no amount of someone reasoning with us will work. However, research has found that if we can label the emotion, you will start to activate the prefrontal cortex or thinking part of the brain (Lieberman, 2007). So basically when you or your child is overwhelmed by an emotion, simply being able to say what that emotion is will slow the emotional roller coaster and start the process to help think clearer to find a solution.“ The Therapist Parent – Developing Impulse Control in Children
  2. Teach your child to talk to herself: “New research from the University of Toronto Scarborough states that inner voice plays an important role in controlling impulsive behavior. Children with ADHD acquire internalized speech later than most children, which may account for their weakened ability to control their impulses, according to findings by Laura Berk.” Michelle Anthony, PHD. Scholastic Parents, “Why Impulse Control Is Harder Than Ever”
  3. Provide structure: “Structure can play a significant role in encouraging impulse control. With routines and consistent rules, children can feel safe while developing self-awareness for impulsive behavior that strays from what they’ve been practicing.” Beyond Booksmart – How Can Teachers and Parents Address Impulsive Behavior in Children?

5 PURSUITS of AHONUI:

Inspired by Gholdy Muhammad

Please watch this: Almost Time written by Elizabeth Stickney and Gary D. Schmidt, illustrated by G. Brian Karas. Then with you child, answer the following:

  • IDENTITY: What foods do your family or did your ancestors grow or catch? Discuss with your ʻohana about what it takes to grow/catch that food and what role patience plays.
  • SKILLS: Describe what it is like to lose a tooth. Use a variety of adjectives and adjective phrases.
  • INTELLECT: Where do maple trees grown? Research the location and climate most suitable for maple trees to grow and maple syrup to be produced.
  • CRITICALITY: How does growing our own food help to protect our community?
  • JOY: With your ʻohana, grow a vegetable or fruit that you can enjoy once it is ready.

MAHALO NUI LOA – CAMPUS BEAUTIFICATION

Mahalo nui loa to all who generously gave of their time and efforts to mālama our campus including our ʻohana, staff, 4th grade team, parents, students, military partners, and Pencils for People. Mahalo Piha to Jolyn Kresge, Wali Camvel, Kalei Tim Sing, and Dee Fujinaka for organizing this amazing event that activated over 50 volunteers.

CONTINUED PRACTICES:

NOʻAHUNA OF ALOHA

See Uncle Pono Shim explain the Noʻahuna, the esoteric meaning, of Aloha as taught to him by Aunty Pilahi, the Keeper of Secrets.

WEAR KĀNEʻOHE SHIRT WEDNESDAYS

Help us build unity and show our lōkahi by wearing a shirt that celebrates Kāneʻohe on Wednesdays. Wear any previous Fun Run or grade level shirt.

DAILY VIRTUAL PIKO

At the Daily Piko, we share thoughts on the Aloha value for the week which helps us become centered and ready to learn. We begin at 8 AM everyday except Wednesdays.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Nov 20 4:30 – 5:30 PMKES Wellness Committee via Zoom
Nov 20 5:30 – 7 PMKES Ohana Mtg via Zoom
Nov 22Waiver Day – no students
Nov 28Thanksgiving Holiday
Nov 29No School; Office Closed

HAʻAHAʻA AND EMBRACING THE UNKNOWN

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low, lowly, minimum, humble, degraded, meek, unpretentious, modest, unassuming, unobtrusive; lowness, humility.

Pukui, Mary Kawena, Hawaiian dictionary

ALOHA FOCUS FOR THE WEEK: HAʻAHAʻA

While I can’t think of many benefits of the climate crisis we’re facing, an unusually lengthy warm autumn provided a sunset hued display of fall foliage for our drive from Boston to Portland. Both my daughter and I had never been to Maine and so we did not know what to expect other than it would take around three hours.

Other than the sporadic political signs scarring the landscape, the bucolic scenery filled us we awe and calm. While we could barely see into the hauntingly beautiful homes, set behind rows of maple and oak, we imagined them filled with families sitting before tables of lobster and all the fixings while the smells of blueberry pie lingered in the background.

My daughter and I share an appreciation for these long drives, listening to the music of her childhood and chatting about what the future holds. We are both nearing major life transitions – she finishing up graduate school and beginning her professional life while I am nearing the end of mine. Though our fates intertwine, she is more than retracing my footsteps. At her age, I too was single and beginning my professional career, excited yet fearful of what the future might hold. Where will I live? Will I have kids? Who would I spend the rest of my life with? It felt like any decision I was about to take would be immovable and permanent. Seeing how so many of those decisions were indeed transitory, my daughter grows from the knowledge that commitments have lives of their own. They are born and at some point depart. And despite conditioning and social pressure, she knows it’s ok to walk away from a bad decision no matter how hard it is because she has seen how it only gets harder.

My daughter understands that we face our future with emptiness. While we prepare, we do not know what it truly holds. So we must be watchful and adaptive. We must be temper our strong resolve with flexibility. This is of course easier said than done. Even after bemoaning a potentially sore stomach, my daughter squeezed in a few more bites of her rich, delectable breakfast instead of letting go of her leftovers. Hating to waste food, a cultural value, drives her irrationality. I explain that I’ve learned that same value made me overweight and ill. If it caused me to feel sick instead of nourishing my body, I’m still wasting the food. Thankfully, despite those extra bites, she felt ok for the rest of the day. Like with other fleeting concerns, we left our leftovers behind and continued on with our journey still with many sites to see and unexpected adventures to experience.

5 PURSUITS of HAʻAHAʻA:

Inspired by Gholdy Muhammad

Please watch this: An Unexpected Thing written and illustrated by Ashling Lindsay. Then with you child, answer the following:

  • IDENTITY: Discuss with your ʻohana how they feel about facing something unknown. Share a story about one of their experiences.
  • SKILLS: The author uses “blasted” to describe Fred’s perspective of the spot’s movement and uses “bobbing” to describe Coco’s perspective. How does the author’s choice of words help to convey specific emotions?
  • INTELLECT: What does the word “perspective” mean? What kinds of things affect someone’s perspective?
  • CRITICALITY: Sometimes we make judgements about other people we’ve never met or do not know. How might being like Coco and imagining all the wonderful things about others help us to be more accepting and able to show aloha.
  • JOY: Try something you’ve been afraid to try by first imagining all of the wonderful things you might experience. Write about your fears and then what happened to you after trying it.

COMPREHENSIVE NEEDS ASSESSMENT

On Friday, November 22, we are looking for a few parents, students, and community members to help us conduct a Comprehensive Needs Assessment. On this day, we will take a deep dive into our school data including student achievement, attendance, student discipline, and school processes. From the data, participants will help us identify priorities which will shape our school’s Academic and Financial Plan. If you are interested in helping us with this important kuleana, please contact me via email at derek.minakami@k12.hi.us by Monday, November 18.

MORNING DROP-OFF

Mahalo to our volunteers along with our families that help to make the traffic conditions on Mokulele safer for those crossing the street to come to school. We have been working with traffic safety division of the Honolulu Police Department, the Department of Transportation Services, Council member Kiaʻāina, and Representative Matayoshi to guide our efforts and advocate for installing safety implements.

While the morning commute can be stressful, please drive with aloha and abide by these reminders:

  • Wait with your children until 7:40 AM when they are allowed onto campus. If you need to leave earlier, please consider having them eat breakfast in the cafeteria (starting at 7:20 AM) or signing up for Kamaaina Kids morning care (contact Jen Heya via voice or text at 808-445-1654);
  • Pull up to the curb and do not block on-coming traffic;
  • Avoid blocking our neighbors’ driveways;
  • Obey all traffic laws including parking only where it is allowed; and
  • Remind your children to use the crosswalk when crossing the street.

CONTINUED PRACTICES:

NOʻAHUNA OF ALOHA

See Uncle Pono Shim explain the Noʻahuna, the esoteric meaning, of Aloha as taught to him by Aunty Pilahi, the Keeper of Secrets.

WEAR KĀNEʻOHE SHIRT WEDNESDAYS

Help us build unity and show our lōkahi by wearing a shirt that celebrates Kāneʻohe on Wednesdays. Wear any previous Fun Run or grade level shirt.

DAILY VIRTUAL PIKO

At the Daily Piko, we share thoughts on the Aloha value for the week which helps us become centered and ready to learn. We begin at 8 AM everyday except Wednesdays.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Nov 20 4:30 – 5:30 PMKES Wellness Committee via Zoom
Nov 20 5:30 – 7 PMKES Ohana Mtg via Zoom
Nov 22Waiver Day – no students

ʻOLUʻOLU AND STANDING UP

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Good natured; not easily provoked; good humored as applied to a nature of ease and cheerfulness. 

Parker, A Dictionary of the Hawaiian Language, 1865

ALOHA FOCUS FOR THE WEEK: ʻOLUʻOLU

Picture ʻohe flexibly swaying back-n-forth while withstanding a hurricane without breaking. Like the ʻohe, the true strength and resiliency of aloha is most evident in times of stress. It’s easy to show aloha when others are showing it as well. But in the hurricanes of our relationships, when challenges and conflict arise, being ʻoluʻolu is most needed.

What you endure is who you are and if you just accept and do nothing, then life goes on. But if you see it as a way for change, life doesn’t have to be this unfair…I can’t change the past, but I can certainly help somebody else in the future so they don’t go through what I did.

Congresswoman Patsy Takemoto Mink

A person who aptly represented ʻoluʻolu was Congresswoman Patsy Mink. A groundbreaker in many regards. In 1956, Congresswoman Mink was the first woman to serve in the Hawaiʻi legislature and in 1964, the first woman of color elected to Congress. To attain these positions of power, she had to persevered through all of the “no”s and doors shut in her face due to her gender and race. 

Congresswoman Mink initially aspired to be a physician but was denied entry to every medical school to which she applied. Disheartened but not defeated, she decided to go into law, graduating from the University of Chicago as only one of two women. After passing the bar, no firm would hire her, a mother and wife in an interracial marriage. So she decided to open her own practice taking on cases that focused on women’s issues, cases other law firms would turn away.

Congresswoman eventually sought public office where she made numerous contributions. She put forward the first childcare bill and legislation establishing bilingual education. She paved the way for students to obtain loans to go to college. She helped establish special education and the Head Start program. Most significantly, Congresswoman Mink was the primary author of Title IX which barred sexual discrimination in institutions receiving federal funds and opened opportunities for women in athletics. 

I was fortunate to have met Congresswoman Mink twice. Once, as a clueless child, I appeared in one of her campaign commercials. My neighbor was an influential advisor to Congresswoman Mink and she gathered a bunch of the kids on our street to listen to Congresswoman Mink tell us a story. Nearly 25 years later, I sat with Congresswoman Mink in her office at the US Capitol to share with her about National Board Certification for Teachers. In both cases, Congresswoman Mink’s kind heart shone through. She listened intently asked thoughtful questions. I left both instances feeling like I mattered to her. Especially on that second visit, I could feel her fierce, enduring spirit. Until her death, Congresswoman Mink was ʻoluʻolu in her values and beliefs, always fighting for those with less power and voice.

PS – Here’s a video which nicely captures Congresswoman Mink’s legacy from her Alma Mater, the University of Nebraska.

5 PURSUITS of ʻOLUʻOLU:

Inspired by Gholdy Muhammad

This week we are treated to a special read-aloud by Kāneʻohe Elementary School alumnus and former parent, Congresswoman Jill Tokuda. Patsy Mink served as an inspiration to Rep. Tokuda, motivating her to follow a passion for helping people through the political process. As a lifelong Menehune, Rep. Tokuda also strives to practice aloha and remain ʻoluʻolu through the challenges she faces…much the same as Patsy Mink. 

Please watch this: Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8 Jen Bryant and Illustrated by Toshiki Nakamura. Then with you child, answer the following:

  • IDENTITY: As a Japanese-American, “Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8” what a cultural saying and value that greatly  influenced Patsy Mink. Discuss with a kupuna, what is one of the sayings that is important to your culture?
  • SKILLS: How does the author use “Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8” throughout the story?
  • INTELLECT: Research a woman athlete that benefited from Title IX. 
  • CRITICALITY: Patsy Mink used her position as congresswoman to diminish discrimination against women and people of color. How might you, as a student, work towards ending hate and discrimination?
  • JOY: Just as Patsy Mink inspired Representative Tokuda, think about and discuss who inspires you to do better and be resilient?

A Parent’s Guide to Surviving Middle School

The Atlantic recently published “A Parent’s Guide to Surviving Middle School” with 10 tips from Russell Shaw, head of school at Georgetown Day School in Washington, D.C.. While focused on middle school students, the tips Shaw provides are definitely applicable for parents of students in upper elementary. Here are a few:

  • There’s No Such Thing as Normal:  Shaw notes that how children develop is “neither linear nor predictable.” They grow at their own pace, often in spurts after following a period of little change. He warns that children often wonder if they are “normal.” He suggests, “avoid comparing your child’s growth with that of their peers or even their siblings. They’ll do this on their own. Instead, reassure them: ʻYou’re exactly as tall as you’re supposed to be right now.’”
  • Don’t Get on the Roller Coaster: Children’s internal chemistry and physicality goes through immense change during this period. Their emotions and mental state can as if they are on a roller coaster. Shaw cautions that rather than reacting to their child’s volatile emotions, parents should remain grounded, providing stability and reliability – like a lighthouse.
  • More Limits Online, More Freedom IRL: Shaw observes, “One of the great mysteries of modern parenting is why so many parents have radically restricted their children’s freedom in the physical world while giving them free rein in the virtual one.” As the latest research shows, being online tends to make children “less physically fit, more anxious, less focused, more isolated.” Meanwhile in the physical world, free play (not structured) has been shown to help to foster creativity, resilience and strengthen social interaction in children.
  • Befriend Your School: Shaw asserts, “A teacher will never know a student in the same way as their parent, who has years of history with their child.” However because veteran educators have taught hundreds of children over the years, they have a strong understanding of what’s in the range of normal behavior. “If your child is struggling, reaching out to the school can help put these struggles in context. Ideally, home and school can collaborate on a path forward, one that draws on the unique insights that each party brings.” 
  • We also know that in this stage of development, adolescents tend to be hyperbolic. They exaggerate and dramatically expound. Ever hear your child yell, “You’re so mean! You never let me do anything! I hate you!”? We realize that at times they paint the same picture about school – “We don’t do anything in that class!” “My teacher hates me.” And this might be right after they were uncontrollably laughing with their class engaging in a fun learning activity the teacher planned. Shaw says, “One of my favorite lines to share with parents is: ‘If you believe half of what they tell you about us, we’ll believe half of what they tell us about you.’” That said, we are in this together and your child will benefit much more when we act as partners.

Read the entire insightful list at the Atlantic.

CONTINUED PRACTICES:

NOʻAHUNA OF ALOHA

See Uncle Pono Shim explain the Noʻahuna, the esoteric meaning, of Aloha as taught to him by Aunty Pilahi, the Keeper of Secrets.

WEAR KĀNEʻOHE SHIRT WEDNESDAYS

Help us build unity and show our lōkahi by wearing a shirt that celebrates Kāneʻohe on Wednesdays. Wear any previous Fun Run or grade level shirt.

DAILY VIRTUAL PIKO

At the Daily Piko, we share thoughts on the Aloha value for the week which helps us become centered and ready to learn. We begin at 8 AM everyday except Wednesdays.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Oct 28 – Nov 8ʻOhana Conferences – school ends at 12:45 PM
Tue, Nov 5ELECTION DAY – NO SCHOOL
Nov 22Waiver Day – no students